As a parent, it’s not always easy to tell the difference between typical ups and downs and something that may require additional support. All children experience stress, frustration, and challenges at times; however, when certain patterns become more frequent, more intense, or begin to interfere with daily life, it may be worth considering additional support.
Below are some common signs that a child may benefit from seeing a therapist.
- Persistent changes in mood
It’s normal for children to have good days and bad days, but if their overall mood seems noticeably different for an extended period of time, it’s worth paying attention.
This might look like:
- Increased irritability or sadness
- Becoming more withdrawn, quiet, or emotionally flat
- Reduced interest in activities they used to enjoy
- Lower motivation or difficulty engaging in day-to-day activities
- Seeming less like themselves overall
- Extreme worries or fears
Worry is a normal part of development, but when it becomes constant, intense, or out of proportion to the situation, it can start to interfere with a child’s daily functioning.
This might look like:
- Persistent or frequent worrying, even when things seem okay
- Fears that feel much bigger than the situation (e.g., making mistakes, getting sick, something bad happening)
- Avoiding of places or activities they used to tolerate
- Frequent “what if” questions or needing repeated reassurance
- Difficulty separating from caregivers
- Decline in school performance
Some children have difficulties at school or begin to struggle more than they previously did. For many children, these challenges show up most clearly at school.
Signs to look for include:
- School refusal or frequent complaints about going
- A sudden drop in grades
- Difficulty concentrating or “zoning out” in class
- Reports from teachers about behavioral or emotional changes
- Not turning in work or refusing to complete homework
- Becoming easily overwhelmed by assignments or expectations
- Social withdrawal
Some children may start to withdraw from others or have a harder time engaging socially.
This might look like:
- Spending excessive amounts of time alone (e.g., sitting alone at school, isolating in their room)
- Seeming less interested in connecting with others
- Avoiding social gatherings or peer interactions
- Expressing feelings of being left out, disliked, or misunderstood
- Changes in daily habits (sleep, appetite, energy levels)
Some children have difficulties with sleep, appetite, or energy, or show noticeable changes in these areas.
This might look like:
- Sudden changes in appetite (undereating or overeating)
- Difficulty falling or staying asleep, or needing significantly more or less sleep than usual
- Changes in energy or motivation (e.g., seeming more tired or less engaged)
- Nightmares or ongoing fatigue
- Changes that are not better explained by a medical or physical condition
- Behavior that feels intense or oppositional
All children push boundaries at times. However, when behavior becomes frequent, intense, or difficult to manage, it may go beyond what is typical.
This might look like:
- Frequent arguing or pushing back against expectations
- Refusal to follow directions, even for simple tasks
- Frequent meltdowns or outbursts, or escalating quickly when frustrated
- Pushing limits or testing boundaries
- Reactions that seem disproportionate to the situation
- Everyday tasks feel unusually hard or overwhelming
Some children begin to have a much harder time managing everyday tasks or keeping up with the day-to-day demands placed on them.
This might look like:
- Tasks that seem simple, take a lot of effort
- Difficulty getting started or knowing where to begin
- Getting “stuck” or shutting down when overwhelmed
- Needing frequent reminders or support to complete tasks
- Relying heavily on parents to get through daily routines
- Difficulty completing basic self-care tasks (e.g., hygiene, getting ready, organizing belongings)
- Difficulties adjusting to major life changes
Children don’t always process stressful experiences in obvious ways. Even positive or expected changes can be difficult to adjust to.
This might look like:
- Having a hard time adjusting after a stressful or upsetting event (e.g., loss, divorce, move)
- Ongoing distress long after the event has passed or repeated focus on what happened
- Increased clinginess, withdrawal, or emotional sensitivity
- Difficulty returning to their usual mood or behavior
- In young children/toddlers, there can be regression in previously learned skills – such as potty training or independence in routines
- Your family feels stuck in the same cycle or pattern
For some families, the same challenges keep repeating despite trying different approaches.
This might look like:
- Constant power struggles or conflict around routines
- Repeated cycles of escalation and frustration
- Everyone feeling exhausted or overwhelmed
- Frequently giving in or walking on eggshells to avoid conflict
- Feeling like nothing you try works for long
- Talk of self-harm
Any expression of wanting to hurt themselves or not wanting to be here should be taken seriously. These situations require immediate attention and professional support.
This might look like:
- Statements about wanting to hurt themselves
- Comments about “not wanting to be here”
- Expressions of hopelessness
- Suddenly giving away or gifting of prized possessions that have always been extremely important
Choosing to seek support is not a reflection that something is “wrong” with your child. Instead, it’s about creating an opportunity for growth and understanding. Children navigate a wide range of emotional, social, and developmental challenges, and having the right support can make a meaningful difference in how those experiences unfold. Therapy can offer a safe space where children can feel understood and supported, while also helping them develop a stronger sense of self and greater confidence in their ability to handle challenges. Over time, this kind of support can help set the foundation for continued growth and the ability to thrive.
Fill out an intake request at the Children’s Program to connect your child with a therapist in Portland, OR.